Sunday, August 22, 2010

Between a Chris Rock and a hard place

“A man is only as faithful as his options.” --Chris Rock
You're a typical guy, toodling along through midlife, married with a kid or two.  Your hairline has seen better days, not to mention your midsection.  One morning at work, your decent-looking female colleague mentions that she has to leave work early to attend her son's band concert, and then all of a sudden she's telling you about her husband who is singlehandedly killing the marriage by refusing to take antidepressants.  Do you:

A) Nod and smile at the appropriate points and offer the name of your wife's psychotherapist friend

B) Assure her that all marriages go through rough spots and that eventually things will work out one way or another.

C) Ask her to go out to lunch to talk about it more, but instead drive to the nearest Super 8 Motel to screw her brains out.


A)  I really don't want to run with this because I love my wife and children more than anything.  Plus, my wife totally digs it when I go down on her while jamming a vibrator up her ass.  I'm getting hard just thinking about it.

B)  This looks tempting but I can't afford the trouble.  And maybe I can sweetly talk my wife into anal play if she drinks enough wine.

C)  Carpe diem!

To paraphrase another article on the topic:  Faithful men are made before the relationship. Relationship conditions notwithstanding, the choice ultimately lies with the male's character.  Excluding women, and excluding circumstances.  Oddly enough, just because a man is faithful, it doesn't make the marriage easier.  Why?  Faithful men are the ones that attract the most females anyway. Life is just so fucked up that way.


Charlene said...

I don't think it is just a male thing.

Lieutenant Ilia said...


Deluge71 said...

Women are indeed equal opportunity destroyers. Apparently this is even true when they live together.

Lieutenant Ilia said...

I watched "carpe diem" happen during a business trip. I don't know if she included her vibrator in the tryst.