Blond Haired Blue Eyed Indian

As it turns out your beloved Captain Corky is Scottish and Lumbee Indian.

My biological maternal grandfather, Dewey Lowery was a Lumbee Indian. My biological maternal grandmother, Quessie Lowery was a Lumbee Indian. In turn my biological mother was Lumbee and that makes me more Indian than I could have ever hoped for.

In elementary school when my friends and I would sling racial slurs at each other they would taunt me with Indian war cries. The only information I had regarding my ethnicity prior to last week was that I had some Indian blood and it was assumed to be Cherokee.

So last week when Wendi (my older/biological/sister) explained that we were Lumbee Indian I started to learn all I could about Native Americans from the only source I've ever trusted, television.

F-Troop didn't really have as much information on the Lumbee as I would have liked though. Actually, I was even a little offended that most of the Indians portrayed on F-Troop were played by fucking Guidos!

According to a few things that I've read and heard, The Lumbee Tribe is recognized by the state of North Carolina as a Native American Tribe, but it is not federally recognized. There seems to be some opposition from the Cherokee (and others) as to the validity and origins of the Lumbee, but the bottom line is obviously wampum.

Remember when El Diablo Blanco stole America from the Indians with beads?

At the begining of this post I also mentioned that I was Scottish. I think Scotland is part of the United Kingdom or something...  And I read in Baby Names from A to 3 that Keith is a Scottish name meaning, "woods."

All of this new knowledge has inspired me to write a screen play about a guy who is half Lumbee and half Scottish. I'm calling the movie, White Indians can't Hunt.

Dewey Lowery's Certificate Of Death