Wednesday, June 06, 2012


This particular article recently made the rounds on Facebook:  "Oooh, I know a gaslighter!"  "All men are total gaslighters!"

Oy vey.  Hand me a Zippo so I can light my own farts. 

Too many women have twisted the definition of "gaslighter" into a Gordian knot of self-righteousness.  Probably as I write this, Gloria Allred is scrounging up some poor unfortunate soul in order to make some money off of this trend.

By no means am I minimizing the fact that the many actual habitual gaslighters out there should be lit on fire with said gas and then mailed to that Canadian pornstar zombie for a crunchy, crispy dinner.  However, there are definitely many women out there who are, in fact, histrionic batshit crazy and would still be histrionic batshit crazy even if they were married to Prince or Princess Charming and led the most perfect life imaginable. These are women who will use that article as yet another weapon to claim that they aren't ever "sensitive", "emotional", "defensive", or "dramatic", but that it's the other person's fault 99.999 percent of the time for perceiving them to be that way.  

The author claims, "We continue to burden women because they don't refuse our burdens as easily. It's the ultimate cowardice."  No, the ultimate cowardice is not taking responsibility for your own actions.  It's hiding behind Oprah Winfrey-esque jargon to avoid facing the reality that maybe, just maybe, your inconsiderate actions caused your "gaslighter" to lose their patience with you and tell you the truth: Stop freaking out and think of the other side for once.  It's not all about you.  It's OK to stand up for yourself, but not when you are wrong and you refuse to admit it.

Reverse mind control perpetuates the cycle, leading to generations of F.I.N.E. people.  When is it ever going to stop?

Postscript:  I was histrionic batshit crazy once upon a time.  Then I grew up.  I think.


captain corky said...

Its not all about me either. Do the next right thing, contribute to life, own my part, and help/think about others.

Thank you 12 step program. Without you i would still be histrionic batshit crazy too.

captain corky said...

How many hours of therapy does it take to grow up? The world may never know...