Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Soup That Eats Like A Meal


Did you know that a can of Chunky Beef with Country Vegetables only has 300 calories per can? This is an amazing discovery! I've been eating this soup as long as I can remember, and when I go a real long time without eating it I start to crave it. I'm talking months people, and sometimes even years.

When I was a kid I used to eat Chunky Beef almost every Saturday at 6:00 o'clock while I watched Star Trek. Greatest show in the history of television! But you already knew that of course. Nothing like feeding my head with a double dose of brain food.

Ever since Donovan Mcnabb and Matt Hasselbeck's milf started doing Chunky Soup commercials grocery stores and supermarkets like Foodtown think they can plow in to me by charging 2 dollars and twenty five cents a can. Fuck you Foodtown! Captain Corky is much slicker than that you greedy bastards. I buy my Chunky Beef at Target for a buck twenty five a can. I also buy all of my furniture, clothes, laundry detergent, picnic supplies, and power tools at Target. They make it real easy and only charge me 19 percent interest on my Target Credit card. I even got to pic the color of my card. What a store!

Anyway, I'm was thinking about going on the Captain Corky inspired Chunky stew diet. 5 cans a day... That would be 1500 calories daily. Perfect! The only drawback to going on a diet like this would be that by my third can of the day hypertension will have set in, and by the fith can I will have died of a stroke because of the Salt content. I can't catch a break! I guess it's back to tasteless, sugarless, fatless Shredded Wheat tomorrow. Yum! I can't wait.







35 comments:

Metal Mark said...

I eat soup for lunch every work day. Yes, Star Trek is the greatest show of all time.

captain corky said...

I can't think of a better one Mark! I guess a real desperate person could make somewhat of an argument for The Love Boat.

Life, or Something Like It said...

I'm impressed! Youseem to have really researched this whole diet! While I'm not a big chunky soupfan, (I think it's a guy thing), you've made me into a Target fan! I hear that we're getting them in Canada, and I'll be there. Soup and laundry soap and picnic supplies?

Life, or Something Like It said...

I forgot to mention that we have a Campbells soup factory a couple of hours away from here. You can buy the soup for about a 1/3 of the price...I might eat it then...

captain corky said...

I tend to become obsessive from time to time Biddie.

Lady K said...

That is some of the best soup ever. We used to eat homemade pizza every Saturday while watching Star Trek. AND we got to eat in the living room and have pop for dinner!

Jay said...

Sirloin Burger with vegetables and potatoes is my personal favorite. I have at least once a week. I hate it when it's so hot in the summer and makes it difficult to have a hot bowl of soup.

Alicia said...

I eat the Chunky chicken noodle soup. It's great!
Campbells makes a lower sodium soup, too... I have the tortilla soup, and the italian wedding soup.
5 Cans a day is excessive! I think one a day will do ya.
;)

Yasamin said...

the italian wedding soup is sooo effin awesome... and yeah get the lower sodium kind. ;D

regular campbells makes me swell up like a freakin puffer fish.

Alicia said...

Oh yeah, and since when is Donovan McNabb's mother a MILF?!
Were we watching the same commercials?!

The Lone Beader said...

Try Campbell's Healthy Request. It's better for you=:)

Tod said...

I might have to try your chunky soup diet. I've been livin off friggin apples this week and put on 3 pound!!!

Yasamin said...

lmao alicia !!! i know right!?!?! that woman makes the wallpaper peel.

Blancodeviosa said...

yeah and with all the sodium in soup, your innerds probably wellpreserved

Big Pissy said...

I loves me some Chunky Soup!

Yum!!!!

Alicia said...

She makes wallpaper peel? Send her over to my place!!! I've got 5 layers of the shit on my walls...

Aunt Jackie said...

Durnit, you're making me want soup with a nice organic grilled cheese sandwich (with sharp cheddar) Yum!

theresa said...

I like the future new soup ad campaign with the svelt, non-chunky Capt. Corky eating the Chunky Soup every day.
Consumers like irony. They pay cold hard cash for it, Baby!

James Burnett said...

five cans a day and you're gonna look like nicole ritchie in a few weeks.

captain corky said...

Alicia and Yasamin, I was talking about Matt Hasselbeck's mother not Mcnabbs but I don't really want to pork either of them.

Welcome to the Log blancodeviosa!

Pud said...

I like Campbell's Tomato soup to go. Now you've got me craving one...but alas...they don't sell them in Iraq.

karma lennon said...

The only soup I ever liked they discontinued. It was Campbell's noodles and ground beef. I was so sad.

RockDog said...

The Love Boat had it all! Hot chicks and tropical locales!...(I'll be that desperate person argueing for The Love Boat over ST )

willSIX said...

I have to agree with Jay regarding the sirloin burger w/ potatoes. That is some seriously delicious shit.

Lady K, you cannot drink "pop". A pop is candy or a frozen treat. Soda is a drink. Alternatively, if you live south of the Mason-Dixon line, it is called a "Coke".

Heidi the Hick said...

If you're in Canada it's called pop. Only it still rots your teeth and guts no matter where you live!

I ship this stuff off to work with Jethro so he doesn't starve halfway through the day. but you know, he really doesn't look like he's starving any....

Michael C said...

Now this is just a thought here, but what if you put just a dab of Chunky broth on the shredded wheat. I don't know how it'll taste, but it certainly won't kill you like 5 cans would ;-)

Pixie said...

The do a lower sodium version dont they ?
I would say make yourself a huge pot of home made soup but I think it never quite tastes as good. (But then I am a terrible cook!)

willSIX said...

They call it "pop" in Wisconsin, as well, HtH, but that don't make it right.

I spread the gospel there, and I spread it here. You cannot drink a pop. It's called soda.

Corky, I give you my personal guarantee that if you are eating 5 cans of Chunky Soup a day you will not lose weight. Were I a betting man, I'd wager on it.

captain corky said...

Have no fear Willsix, your friendly neighborhood Captain Corky is not eating 5 cans of Chunky Soup a day. I've lost 10 pounds so far, and It's not because I've been smoking crack either.

Yasamin said...

huh. i didn't know they canceled sirloin burger soup. i still find it at the dollar store.. should i stop buying food at the dollar store??? :p

Steven Novak said...

Two measly cans of that stuff a day and I'd only give you two weeks of life. ;)

Steve~

willSIX said...

Good job, Cap'n! Keep up the good work. Myself, I always look to a conveniently timed stomach flu like the one I just had to lose some weight. There's nothing like a full day's worth of puking to make you really, truly never want to eat again!

Will you be around this weekend to help me stack sandwich boxes for cancer research, or will I be flying solo?

Jacqueline said...

btw, don't these cans of soup have more than one serving?? Usually at least 2.

captain corky said...

150 calories a serving in Chunky Beef, 2 servings.

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