Friday, July 23, 2010

Porno for Pyros

It's no accident that the most outwardly religious people out there are also the most inward connoisseurs of some of the nastiest porn out there. Apparently, they really mean it when they yell "Oh God!".

The list of evidence is, well, damning.

Case in point number one: Rabbi David Kaye. "Want some candy, little boychik?" He is best known as the creepy clown that Chris Hansen helped remove from society via "To Catch a Predator".

Case in point number two: Ted Haggard. Allegedly, this "homosexuals are sinners" cheerleader was one insatiable sex machine. It could have been the meth talking, but he loved handcuffing and being handcuffed. What's a little forced restraint among friends?

And, lastly, case in point number three: A friend's babymomma's daddy, a "respected elder" of the Cavalry Church who most likely taught his daughter everything she knows about blow jobs and Jesus. His grandson is definitely not his son, but we don't want to know just how goddamned lucky he got with that.

So, all you believers out there: Embrace your inner pervert. Come. Jesus and Friends will get you there.



4 comments:

Peter said...

Trey and Matt are genius assholes or asshole geniuses; I can't figure out which. The problem I have is that CC will censor "The Prophet" in disguise but will allow "GD" freely. It pisses me off! We are all fair game; the pansy wuss girls (probably males) running CC know that even the most fervent, ardent Christians will not come gunning for them (I haven't), no matter how many rifles we keep in our safes. But they fear the wrath of stupid, misguided, stupid, supposedly sharia law-following dipshit punks? Nagger, please!

Peter said...

Perverts of all stripes have fucked up too many people. The fact that some of them have done it under the auspices of religion should not cause us to condemn religion outright. The perverts deserve our "howls of execration," (L'Etranger) but we should allow that religion, in and of itself, is not necessarily intrinsically wrong. How can we fault anyone for doing her or his best to make sense of this life we have found ourselves in?

Jesus's take on religion (or rather any overt display of religiosity) was that it should be done in secret. That is eerily similar to the way much (most) sinning is done. God knows what is in our hearts; He sees all of it; we will have our reward, whether we want it or not.

Do you ever wonder what we are trying to achieve with technology? We are trying to be God: we are trying to see all; we are trying to know all. The closest we'll ever get to that ideal is seeing most of it and having instant access to most of it ; we'll never be capable of grasping it fully. Some of us will still sneer at God and His ilk; the rest of us will know Him.

Lieutenant Ilia said...

This post was more against hypocrisy than religion. It's along the same lines as writing about Kirstie Alley simultaneously promoting Jenny Craig and stuffing her face with junk food.

Peter said...

Got it. There is so much hypocrisy out there that sometimes it is virtually indistinguishable from true faith, hence my defense of the religious exercises of the truly faithful, who unfortunately can wind up lumped together with their vile "brethren." I myself have no religion, as I have not yet fully established mine.