Monday, June 03, 2013

Be a Lasting Part of Everlasting Love at Camp Anapolsky!

Camp promptly begins on Thursday morning when the camper wakes me up.

During the school year we try to foster an environment of independence and promote good habits with our children.

During Camp Anapolsky that shit changes.

Our day will roughly begin at 10:30. The camper and I will eat cereal for breakfast. I will drink coffee and the camper can drink orange or apple juice. If the counselor want's to sleep till 11:00 then the camper will get his own breakfast and watch TV until the counselor gets his ass out of bed.

Once the counselor is up only 1960s television will be permitted during breakfast. Danny Partridge yes, Cailou no!

(Please note: Cailou is the most annoying children's television program of all time. Period.)

After breakfast the counselor will have an off-period and the camper will be sent to his grandmother's house until 1:30. Once the counselor returns from his off-period there will be swimming, fishing, breaking shit, archery, shooting, coloring, and eating.

In the event of rain we will eat, color, and watch reruns of  1960s television all camp long.

The camper is so excited for camp that he was having trouble sleeping tonight and camp is still four days away. It's completely understandable. Camp Anapolsky is fucking awesome!

So do yourself a favor and send your kid to Camp Anapolsky for the Summer. Your kid will make life long friend, learn how to fish, and break shit.

More importantly your kid will experience the finest decade in the history of public broadcasting from shows like the Odd Couple, Batman, The Partridge Family, Bonanza, The Monkees, and the Holy Grail of television, Star Trek.


Lieutenant Ilia said...

What's the tuition?

captain corky said...

Tuition is free, but B.Y.O.B! The last B stands for bait.

Gina said...

I hear Caillou's voice in my nightamres. God, I hate that kid.

Leslie Hawes said...

Hi captain corky...boy, those kids sure are grown...

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Man, that's my kind of summer camp. Cailou is a straight up pussy. I hate that kid. Good rule not allowing that guy. Haven't been by your blog forever but was reading old posts and wanted to see how old Corky was doing . . .