FARM POND MANIA

Yesterday I spent my birthday fishing in a FARM POND. It was awesome. Today I'm going back to the FARM to do some more POND FISHING. That's the beauty of being on vacation in the middle of NOWHERE, NORTH CAROLINA.

NOWHERE, NORTH CAROLINA is really awesome cause there are tons of FARMS around here with lots of PONDS. I don't know if I was cut out to be a FARMER though. I like the soil, I like the peace, but I'm not very big on working long hours and it seems that when you own a FARM you have to work all day. Fuck that shit!

Also, I'm deathly allergic to hay. I slept in a barn once or twice when I was a kid and it almost killed me.

When I lived in DC there weren't many FARM PONDS, but I did pick up a skill that maybe I could apply out here in NOWHERE, NC. I could stand in front of FARMS with a sign and wait for FARMERS to bring their eggs to the FARMER'S MARKET to see.

The sign would say: HOMELESS & HUNGRY! PLEASE HELP BY LETTING ME FISH ON YOUR POND!

I think the FARMERS out here would appreciate the fact that I wasn't asking them for money to support a really serious corn mash and barley habit.

Some of the Liberals I grew up with in New Jersey would like it out here too despite the fact that New York City isn't 20 minutes and 10 dollars away. Out here in NOWHERE, NC everyone is voting for Obama! I haven't seen one sign for the other freak. Obviously he's anti-FARMER.

Alto, there's plenty of chemically unaltered food, and everyone knows how the Liberal pretends to be such a health consciousnesses eater. It's a major part of the liberal's facade.

Anyway the sun's up and we FARMER WANNABE'S have plenty to do if we're going to make it to FARMER'S MARKET with a basket full of crappie ,buegill, catfish, and bass. See you at supper, Suckers.

Godric's Hollow

Thanks to the kid who provided the picture of Godric's Hollow
http://gold-seven.deviantart.com/art/Godric-s-Hollow-75496165

On Saturday Ben and I will be leaving for North Carolina. I will be returning to the place I was born for the first time since I was adopted at the age of 3. We will be traveling via river, but we'll be swimming down stream so it wont be as rough on us as it is for salmon or Vulcans. Also, I'm not going to NC to spawn. I did that in KY. Twice.

I'm going to meet biological relatives, see the grave of my biological mother, and fish in biological waterways. One of the biological relatives I'm going to meet is my older brother. He's a Cowboy fan so I suspect that he's quite delusional. Never the less, I'm excited to meet him. Apparently he's into Rush (the band not the tool) and likes to fish so he does have a saving grace or two.

Ben and I will be staying with my sister who has planned an entire week of meat and potatoes for my fat ass, so that's cool.

My birthday is on the 22nd and there will be a birthday party on Sunday. That will probably feel surreal. Other emotions I may or may not process include excitement, anxiousness, sorrow, and joy.

Above all else, I suspect I will feel a great amount of gratitude.

Thanksgiving Itinerary

5:10 AM: Finished Work

7:00 AM: Take Nap

10: 30 AM: Go to Bait Shop and Get Minnows

11:30 AM: Stone Soup Lunch with the Family

12:30 PM: Go Fishing

5:30ish PM: Make Dinner

8:00ish PM: Watch Prison Break

12:00 AM: Sleep

8:30 AM: Wake up with Kids

10:00 AM: Watch Parade, Eat Cinnamon Rolls, and Drink Coffee

1:00 PM: Watch Football, Play with Kids, Peel Potatoes, Make Bread Possibly

4:00 PM: Eat Turkey

6:00 PM: Digest Turkey

8:00 PM: Eat Turkey Again

8:30 PM: Watch Holiday Movie

10:00 PM Watch Another Holiday Movie

12:00 PM: Sleep

Note: Throughout the next couple of days I will be thinking about how grateful I am for my family and friends. 

Social Dragonfly

For the first time in many years I remember why people like Summer. I've avoided the sticky months like the plague for the past 15 years or so. This year's different though. I have the most remarkable tan on my face and arms from spending so much time outside. I look amazing. Do I have a couple bug bites? Yes. Is it the end of the world? No.

I've spent countless hours fishing with my older son this year, and we've met a lot of really nice people. One older guy at the lake likes to give me shit because my tackle box is slightly messy. Instead of saying fuck you to him, I try to clean it and then Max dumps it out 5 minutes after we get to the lake.

Max is a real character at this one lake that we fish at. It seems that everyone knows him by name. They just call me Max's Dad. The kid is a real social dragonfly. He likes to rummage through OPT (other people's tackle boxes). Usually the good people of the lake are pretty understanding and amused by him. He's even used other people's poles before and sometimes there are kids his age that he winds up playing with. It's really cool. 

I'm sure glad that not everyone at the park is there to snatch Max. I'm still careful, but it seems like a lot more people go to the park to fish or walk their dogs rather than to open up their raincoats, if you know what I mean.

I'm not real crazy about the heat or the bugs, but Captain Corky's back, Summer!

Corky's Next Fishing Trip

Subtitle:  Lieutenant Ilia's Worst Nightmare

Back in the Fugawe Period of the Precambrian Era, I dared to go fishing with Corky, willSIX, and various other action figures.  I actually sort of enjoyed myself.  That can almost definitely be attributed to willSIX's making fun of me for joyfully freaking out over catching a turtle.  (Even the Double Rainbow Guy would have been embarrassed for me.)  

The fun was short-lived.  At the tender age of seven, a box of Gorton's Fish Sticks (fish dicks?) caused me unspeakable gastrointestinal distress.  As a result of that digestive Hiroshima, I have not been able to endure even the faintest whiff of fish. (Insert joke here.)  My husband enjoys fish (thank goodness) but is not permitted to cook it while we still share a household.

Osama is sleeping with the fishes now.  Personally, I couldn't think of a better resting place for him.

Summer Action Plan

As some of you know, I've been enrolled in university for almost a year now and my second semester is over. It's amazing how simple college is when you do all your work, show up to class, and kiss the professor's ass a little. I'm glad it's summer though. I need a break. I needs to clean my house and fish a lot more. With the next few months off I should have plenty of time to do both. I should also have a little time for my wife, kids, and work between fishing and cleaning.

I should be cleaning now and I did do a load of dishes, but I thought to myself it would be more fun to write about cleaning. Plus, I love looking at pictures of the fish Max and I catch so what better place to post pictures of them then on my homepage, http://www.corkyslog.blogspot.com/.

Fuck setting your homepage to facebook, google, or Aol. Make Corky's log your homepage and you wont miss anything! I never miss anything and it's obviously do to the fact that Corky's log is my homepage.

My plan is to dedicate a couple of hours in the afternoon to cleaning one specific room Tuesdays through Thursdays. Today I started with the kitchen, but tomorrow the plan really goes into affect. I hope by the end of the summer, and before the fall semester starts, to have the house clean and a freezer full of  fish. I know both are lofty goals, but I'm sure if I put the same dedication and effort that I have put into school the house will look smart, and my IQ will be higher thanks to all the fish.

Enjoying the Unbridled Spirit!

Kentucky does have many flaws which I will not get into here, but for all the feldercarb associated with KY, one thing this state does have is outside recreational fun at a premium.

I'm surrounded by woods and fish and once you remove alcohol, drugs, and  television I'd be perfectly happy spending the rest of my life  in the woods. Not cause I cant stand people and want to blow up mass quantities of them, it's because at 40 years old I still like to look under rocks and sit in front of water ways with multiple fishing poles for ridiculous hours at a time.

God, May you never remove my compulsion and desire to fish.
Amen.I took Max on a 23 hour camping trip a couple of weeks ago and it was really fun. The price to camp in the Jefferson Memorial Forest for a night is 15 bucks. Not bad. Pretty good. We set up our tent and then cooked dinner. Allyson and Ben came up to join us for dinner. They loved the food, and then 45 minutes later my wife drove off with Ben like a bat out of hell.

I guess 2011 will be known as the year Captain Corky rediscovered fresh air and the great outdoors. I also want to expose more of the outside world to my son mainly because when it got dark outside he told me that the campsite needed a light bulb and a television set. I would have been perfectly happy with an outlet so I could have charged my cellphone.

I wonder which Jefferson the forest is memorializing...

Doctors visit

Yesterday Allyson and I went to our third Doctors visit which lasted maybe 5 minutes. All is well. Our next visit is scheduled for February 14th and that's when we'll learn the gender of our baby. Very good stuff.

I am extremely happy with our doctor and the service and treatment that we've been receiving at B Hospital East. It's been a really pleasant experience. I only have one complaint so far... Yesterday while we were waiting for our appointment I had a hard time finding something to read. I wound up reading an article in a women's music magazine about the worlds most famous virgins throughout history. The two most notable people on this list were the Virgin Mary and Adolph Hitler.

Supposedly Hitter was a virgin when he died and suffered from major sexual dysfunction according to this magazine article. That contradicts information that I learned about him on the History channel. Something about him knocking up his cousin and her being put to death because of it. Jessica Simpson got an honorable mention in this article because she waited until after she was married before letting Nick Lachey rip into her.

Besides that fun magazine all the rest of the reading material focused on family and crafts. No thanks. I rely on Doctor's visits for my health, and fishing and hunting magazine articles. I don't hunt therefore I don't buy hunting magazines but I always like to catch up with all the innovative technology their using and adding to tree stands and scopes. I also like to marvel at healty 10 point bucks even though I have no desire to shoot one myself.

I do like to fish but usually it's in a polluted river right down the street from my house. I don't get to go on remote fishing trips in Alaska that cost 10,000 dollars a day, but usually I get to read about them 15 minutes before a doctor is going to stick his finger up my ass. I always look forward to that (reading those articles not Doc's finger). So after the baby is delivered and were checking out of the hospital, and I receive one of those forms that asks, "what could we have done better," I'm going to ask them to get some Field and Stream magazines in for when we come back in 12 months for round two.